Love Your Mobility Aid

"I'm disabled, and I would use a mobility aid, but I refuse to!"

I stared blankly at the woman who spoke with me in the grocery store. She meant well, but her comment felt very much like a slight against me since I was a young woman using a cane. She was probably 30+ years older than me, and the implication was that she was too stubborn to use a cane, whereas I, clearly, just gave up.

I started using my cane my sophomore year of college. At first, I was nervous and acutely aware of everyone staring at me. I would clumsily hit people's ankles because I wasn't holding my cane close enough to me; my cane would clatter to the ground during quiet classes. Basically, I was a constantly embarrassed, clumsy girl with a cane.

Me every time I hit someone's ankle or my cane fell in class.

However, I also found that I could walk greater distances and I didn't off-balance or as dizzy. When I used the school's bus system, I had a visual indicator that I needed to sit. Friends, professors, and strangers could also tell I was visibly disabled (which can be a good and bad thing; a post for another time).

If someone had told me using a cane was a bad thing when I first started using one, I likely would have hesitated further to use one. Many people seem to view using a mobility aid as a sign of weakness, as if you’re somehow giving up, when in reality, using a mobility aid allows a person to do more. Not every disabled person will want or need a mobility aid, and different mobility aids work for different people. However, the idea that mobility aids are an outward reflection of weakness needs to disappear.

By the time I graduated college, I didn't view my cane as embarrassing or weird. I had received another cane, and I would sometimes match the cane to my outfits. If I needed to use a cane, which I did, I wanted them to look good. I even made sure to include it in my senior pictures because it helped get me through university.

Yes, I did match my cane to my dress.

Currently, it’s nearly a month away from Christmas, and I have had an idea to decorate a cane for almost a year now. After searching, I managed to find a cane I could decorate accordingly. I ordered a white cane online and covered it with red duct tape so it looks like a candy cane. The first time I used it out, people were delighted by it, and I couldn’t help but smile. I would much prefer happy reactions than awkward stares.

My candy cane

Of course, I’ll still get some looks, as always happens when I go out, but I don’t pay attention to people who do double-takes at me. It’s still uncomfortable when people go out of their way to make comments, or when they pull their kids out of my way. Explain to your children that some people need mobility aids and that’s normal, remind yourself that strangers don’t owe you information about their personal medical history, and focus on treating the person using a mobility aid as a person.

It’s a personal choice to use a mobility aid. At first, it will feel awkward, and you will be clumsy, but do not give up. In time, you will find that your mobility aid isn’t making you weak, but that it is giving you freedom.